AND ALL MY DREAMS, TORN ASUNDER

Heroes are important.

Humans are less driven by instinct than most animals. We need guidance. Direction. I have a few heroes. Stephen Wright and Dave Attell had the most influence on my sense of humor. I can’t put into words what I got from Warren Ellis, but his work inspired me.

Lately, I’ve taken most of my inspiration from Jason Lanier. And I’ve been fortunate in that regard. I’ve had the opportunity to learn from him directly and to get to know him.

Meeting JMS

This past weekend, I went to a convention in Phoenix, where I had an opportunity to meet my biggest influence. My hero. J. Michael Straczynski. Often referred to by his fans as “The Great Maker”, a reference to what his characters sometimes called God.

We need heroes, but it is an awkward term. I doubt it’s a mantle he would want placed on him. Yet there it is. Straczynski’s writing has meant everything to me. It has inspired me and taught me in ways I just don’t have the words to express.

His work has been a constant throughout my life. He-man and the Masters of the Universe, The Real Ghostbusters, Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future, Midnight Nation, The Amazing Spider-man (a 6 year stint as writer) and of course, Babylon 5. On the plane to Phoenix, I read the first chapter of his last book, “Becoming a Writer, Staying a Writer”. And once again I felt the hand of the Maker guiding me.

I’d been feeling lost for a while now. At a crossroads, if you will.

I learned a lot from Jason. “Never give up on your dreams” he says. If you work hard enough, you can do this as well.

That advice has taken me far. I went from a guy with a camera to being a photographer. And I’m not half-bad. But it also isn’t getting me anywhere.

On some level, I believe in Jason’s words. Don’t give up on your dreams. But maybe it isn’t about giving up, so much as managing expectations. Anyone can learn to play basketball. Not everyone can play in the NBA. And that’s okay. It isn’t a reason to stop playing.

But at some point you need to figure out what your goals are.

I built this website for my photography. I started this blog because a friend told me it was important for SEO. And sometimes I just needed to put pen to paper and get my thoughts out.

At some point last year I started rewriting and posting some of my old stories. And it felt good. It felt really good.

Reading Straczynski’s words reminded me that writers are born with a need.

“It starts with the belief that we have something to say that may be worth hearing.”

It’s more than that though. We aren’t satisfied until we’ve expressed those thoughts. We have a need to be heard. We want to affect the world with our words in a way that perhaps we don’t feel we’re able to with our lives.

I’ve developed the eyes of a photographer. But I have the heart of a writer. I always have.

And I think that’s why I was drawn to photography. Great photography tells a story. Perhaps that’s why I got so much from Jason Lanier, who always tries to tell stories with his photographs.

And while my still is very different from his, telling a story was always my goal when shooting.

I’ve always paid more attention to storytelling than to technique.

I think it’s time I paid more attention to my writing. And I don’t know that I’ll be any more successful at it than I was at photography.

But I know I have something to say, something worth hearing.

I don’t think of it as giving up. It’s just growing up.

-Adam Relayson, June 5th, 2023